Last week was the moment I truly realized that the “free and easy” days were gone.

Don’t get me wrong: I love my daughter. Her being born is one of the greatest things that has ever happened in my life. I just mean that children change a lot of facets of your life—sometimes in ways you don’t fully appreciate until you’re knee-deep in it.

Last week, my wife and I both came down with a pretty nasty cold. On top of that, our daughter also got sick. This was the first time all three of us were sick at the same time.

Before this, if either my wife or I were sick, the other would handle most of the parenting while the sick one rested. And whenever our daughter got sick, we would both pitch in to help her feel better. But last week? That strategy went completely out the window.

It started with my daughter. No big deal—I stayed home Friday to watch her while my wife went to work (she just started a new job, so it was easier for me to take a day). The day was uneventful; my daughter just hung around watching Bluey.

The next day, I started feeling the usual body aches and sinus pressure. I was now sick too. I called out of work and spent half the day in bed while my wife, who didn’t have work that day, watched my daughter. I slept, trying to recover for the coming week.

My rest lasted until about 3:00 PM, when my wife came in, looking apologetic and exhausted. She was now experiencing the same symptoms. For the first time, both of us were sick while our daughter was awake and mobile, and we had no plan.

We improvised: we decided to treat it like we were both fine. Big mistake. Treating yourself as fine and actually being fine are very different things. At first, I still had some false confidence. I even let my wife nap for a couple of hours while I watched my daughter.

When she came back, she said I looked like I had been up for three days straight. By the end of the day, I felt like I hadn’t slept in a lifetime. My brain was foggy, my legs barely worked, and I couldn’t even form a proper sentence. My wife offered to take over, but I insisted on staying with them—a terrible choice in hindsight.

Meanwhile, my daughter’s energy was barely impacted. She crawled, played, smiled, and laughed nonstop. So there I was, shuffling behind a fast-crawling baby while feeling like a zombie. Looking back, it must have been a comical sight: a baby tearing around the house while her dad stumbled along like the walking dead.

Eventually, we began to feel better and could stagger through the day with slightly more coordination. But we were fully unprepared for just how difficult it would be to care for an infant while feeling like absolute death.

Everyone remembers being sick as a kid: lying in bed, eating soup made by a parent, and doing… nothing. As adults, we occasionally get a taste of that. But when you have a child, those “do nothing” days don’t exist. Infants need constant attention, which is incredibly challenging when your mind is busy just remembering to breathe.

The biggest lesson we learned? Take shifts. If both parents are sick, alternate watching your child so each person can get some real rest. By the time we figured this out, we were already wiped out, barely keeping up with Izzy.

So, if you know someone who’s sick and has a child to care for, check on them. They’ll probably be struggling to remember what they did 20 seconds ago—and a little help or even a friendly message can make a huge difference.